Diet Hard, Or The Time I Lost And Gained Weight The Same Way As The Stars - Part I
From piling on the pounds like De Niro for Raging Bull to starving for one's art a la Gary Oldman ahead of Sid And Nancy.
WEEK ONE
Eatspiration: Gary Oldman (Sid And Nancy, 1986)
Daily diet: Boiled fish (one piece), watermelon (unlimited)
Ration regime: Hired by Alex Cox to play Sex Pistols bassist and smack enthusiast Sid Vicious, the non-exactly-plump Gary Oldman decided on a drastic course of action. Keen to assume Sid’s waster frame, Gazza threw himself into a diet that allowed him just a single piece of steamed fish a day but as much watermelon as he could eat.
According to friend and fellow method dieter Richard E Grant (see Part II, Oldman became addicted to the regime; he wound up being hospitalised and treated for malnutrition. Presumably if Oldman ‘had done a Sid’ and given heroin a go, he would have evaporated.
You are what you eat: After such utter deprivation, it’s no surprise that Oldman experienced problems with alcohol - a week of steamed fish and watermelon could drive anyone to drink. Indeed, things get so desperate, I end up sating my craving for ham with an Oldman double-bill of The Scarlet Letter and Lost In Space.
As difficult as it is to stick to the diet (all food - even offal - becomes fascinating), the effect of the Oldman plan is dramatic and I soon become aware that I possess both cheekbones and toes. Another week, however, and my belt might have been around my arm rather than my waist. Amazingly, when Oldman played Joe Orton in Prick Up Your Ears, he talked of having to “pork up” to play the playwright. Pork up?! Have you seen the movie?! The man’s a bloody skellington!
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