Between 2000 and 2010 - first as a freelance, then as a staff writer - I reviewed films for Film4.com. It remains the favourite part of this patch-work, increasingly moth-eaten quilt that I call a career. Sadly, none of these reviews now exist online. All that remains of the EIGHT HUNDRED+ pieces I wrote for the site are these fragments preserved courtesy of Rotten Tomatoes.
Why post them? Because if this blog is about anything, it’s about a lifetime of writing. And as this part of my life was such a joy, even these odds and sods feel worth preserving…
The Swarm (1978) - “Hugely entertaining in all the ways it isn’t meant to be.”
Fresh (1994) - “A hugely underrated crime drama, Fresh is worth discovering both for its air of authenticity and Sean Nelson's remarkable performance.”
Leave Here To Heaven (1945) - “[Jean Tierney is] exceptional in the part, and far better than the legions of actresses who've subsequently set down the rolling pin and bouquet in favour of the ice pick.”
David And Bathsheba (1951) - “Entertaining less as a Biblical epic than as an epic exercise in extreme camp.”
Pandora’s Box (1929) - “There is so much of modern movie life here that the picture, like Louise Brooks' beauty, defies the ravages of time.”
Monty Python And The Holy Grail (1975) - “A comedy classic that only misses out on the Python canon's top spot because the talented swines also made Life Of Brian”
Dear John (2010) - “Ultimately as welcome as a letter bearing that introduction.”
Harry Brown (2009) - “Harry Brown's no Get Carter, but thanks to Michael Caine, this not-so-big movie's in pretty good shape”
The Yes Men Fix The World (2009) - “Occasionally funny and often audacious, but this is too smug to satisfy and too much like Ashton Kutcher's Punk'd to be considered cutting edge.”
Holy God (1998) - “Leaves you wondering whether there really is a God.”
Fired Up (2009) - “Fired Up is big on stereotypes (hello, gay Indian guy), overstatement (if you didn't already realise, loud = funny) and borderline homophobia. To paraphrase Repo Man, the longer you watch this, the stupider you might become.”
Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen (2009) - “Revenge Of The Fallen isn't only louder than Transformers, however. It's longer, it's more explosive, it's more directionless, it's all the proof you'll ever need that more isn't always more”
Good (2008) - “Not for the first time, great theatre makes for a merely adequate film.”
The Damned United (2009) - “Another man-of-the-match performance from Michael Sheen saves this from mid-table respectability.”
Yes Man (2008) - “Never be afraid to say ‘no’.”
The Express (2008) - “A fine example of the form. Clichéd and sentimental it might be, but in the case of The Express, these criticisms almost count as plus points.”
Tenacious D In: The Pick Of Destiny (2006) - “Long may the D continue to walk in Ronnie James Dio's short but comforting shadow.”
The Last Temptation Of Christ (1988) - “Go on, give into it!”
Hot Fuzz (2007) - “Who’d have thought PC comedy could be so much fun?!”
Victim (1961) - “One can only hope [the 2003] re-release awakens people to the true power of Basil Dearden's film and the extraordinary bravery of Dirk Bogarde's performance.”
The Karate Kid (1984) - “The Karate Kid belongs so irredeemably to its time that you can't feel anything other than affection toward it.”
Cutter’s Way (1984) - “Cutter's Way feels like a B-movie, but while its problems are readily apparent, a career-best turn from Heard and a typically charismatic performance from Bridges raise it above the crowd.”
New Jack City (1991) - “It's still entertaining, but New Jack City now feels about as edgy as an old razor. And is just as disposable.”
Magic (1978) - “Although it's well-handled by Richard Attenborough and features decent supporting turns from Ann-Margret and Ed Lauter, the key source of Magic's terror is the fact that ventriloquists' dummies are and always will be disturbing.”